And How Do you Want me to Respond?

Just recently I realized I speak in different voices. When talking to one of my kids (not one of the birth ones, but one of the many others that call me Mom) and they were seeking some advise on a rather touchy subject. What I wanted to say was not what they wanted to here, I am sure, but what they wanted to here I was not so likely to say. After a long pause I just asked....

"Okay, do you want the answer I would give you in the Mom role. Or the Friend role, . Or the 'unpaid' shrink role."

I asked this because the answers we want depend on the direction they are coming from.

Sometimes I want someone to be on my side, to hate the problem with me, just agree and tell me the other person sucks or battle for me get me to see it right. Sometimes I want someone to just tell me what to do, to step in and even if I really want to be all grown up, still give me that 'you know the right thing to do ' advise. Then other times, I need a good head shrink to see the other side of things and I know it.

so it forced the kid to make the call, on how they wanted the answer and what they were looking for. It may not have been the actual answer they wanted, but it was easier to accept when they received it the way they wanted. And in reality, all the answers are the same, just different voices.