My Baby Will Not Sleep!!

I have this theory that babies think in emotions. Like a person from Germany thinks in German, and a color blind person does not dream with colors they cannot see, a baby has no comprehension of language or really clear images. They think in feelings - which they pull from Mommy or their caregivers. First they have only comfort and discomfort, then they move out to defining them-- hunger, calm, contentment, fear. So when I was asked by a crazed up for days mom, help me 'my baby will not sleep', the first thing I tell her is she has to relax. Have a glass of wine or crawl in a warm bath. But until you are calm and confident the baby Will not be calm and secure. If the baby feels your panic, your frustration, it just becomes frightened. Fifty years ago, new mothers had their own mother or their sisters or their aunts around them to help take the baby at night so the baby can feel the confidence of an experienced arm around them. The new mother could rest, relax and know that her child was safe. But now, young mothers are forced to do this all on their own, expecting to pull their wisdom and confidence from books. But that is not working. They need to rely on their experienced mothers around them, not the perfect ones, because they will never find one of those, but the ones with happy kids. One of my daughters in laws would call in the middle of the night, trapped far away alone with a crying baby and no help. she would lay him down, put the phone by his ear, and i would just talk in a calm vocal Valium voice. Or sing, until he could relax and she could catch her own breath. Because sometimes it is just that moment when they can both take a deep sigh that they learn the most about each other.

And How Do you Want me to Respond?

Just recently I realized I speak in different voices. When talking to one of my kids (not one of the birth ones, but one of the many others that call me Mom) and they were seeking some advise on a rather touchy subject. What I wanted to say was not what they wanted to here, I am sure, but what they wanted to here I was not so likely to say. After a long pause I just asked....

"Okay, do you want the answer I would give you in the Mom role. Or the Friend role, . Or the 'unpaid' shrink role."

I asked this because the answers we want depend on the direction they are coming from.

Sometimes I want someone to be on my side, to hate the problem with me, just agree and tell me the other person sucks or battle for me get me to see it right. Sometimes I want someone to just tell me what to do, to step in and even if I really want to be all grown up, still give me that 'you know the right thing to do ' advise. Then other times, I need a good head shrink to see the other side of things and I know it.

so it forced the kid to make the call, on how they wanted the answer and what they were looking for. It may not have been the actual answer they wanted, but it was easier to accept when they received it the way they wanted. And in reality, all the answers are the same, just different voices.

Embolden The Young Moms

Let me tell you that there is nothing more Immortal than helping a young mom be the star of the kindergarten parents with your ideas. The little airplanes below made my daughter in law the queen, suddenly popular and fun. Sometimes there is immense joy when they are so excited to have this success that they cannot stop telling, they cannot stop reliving it, and because of you. Trust me the planes are a huge hit.

JUST PLANE CUTE

These are adorable - using them for a Grandson's birthday treat at school. Easy to make, sticks of gum, two lifesavers, rubber band, and a Smartie.

I Am Bugging You

Sometimes to be immortal is just a matter of making a moment just a little special. These little treats are made of an oreo, dipping chocoate, sugar eyes, and love.

Hope is in the Air

There is a feeling that stirred today, of hope, of promise and a new America. This is a moment to save. I suggest saving the front page, writing your thoughts and how it felt to see him standing there with that amazing smile. It is an immortal moment.

Refresh the Love

Sometimes being Immortal means stopping to realize the people that we need to give a little additional love and attention to are the ones that already love us. Those people in our lives that already think we are wonderful. They still need our to have our special touch, and making them feel we still want to surprise them is an incredible moment.

Christmas Year Round

The spirit and hope of Christmas is really needed all year. The contact with those we do not see through out the year. The hope that next year will bring the joy we want should not fade with our resolutions. As an Immortal it is important to keep that love and joy alive, for ourselves and for those we are destined to reach out to.

There is not a person alive who does not love to receive mail that is NOT a bill, NOT an ad, and NOT attached with tethers of responsibility. There is also not a person alive that does not need a little touch of Christmas to remind them that they too are deserving of our thoughts and prayers.

Hopefully you found those clearance Christmas Cards, because this is when they are now going to come into play. Depending on the quantity and the time you want to invest in this project, label up several with addresses of loved ones that you want to sent these to over the next year. I have two people (who happen to be two of my Immortals) that I will alternate every other month for this year, and one more that I will send a few more too. And some others that I will send as the time arises. With the cards I will add a sheet of paper with some of the little notes that I will put in them (I will write them in as I send them, but if i know what I will be writing it will take off the pressure to come up with something clever at the time of mailing! Being an Immortal does not mean to add so much stress to yourself that you want to give up before starting.) These are some suggestions:

Christmas is just not for December anymore, It is all year long! You were in my thoughts today and you were then.

I can't let Christmas go this year! I want it to last and last! So into the this year the holiday goes, let's not keep it in the past!

December is too far away to wait for that special day! Even when the temperature is on the rise, may the Christmas twinkle be in your eyes!

I thought of you today and just wanted to send a note your way. And what better way to show I care than keep Christmas in the air.

This card is not late, it is early as can be. Merry Christmas 2009, to you from me!

Now come on, doesn't that just make you smile! Get the cards ready - hand write the notes for the personal touch. When you hear of someone a little sad, this will perk them up, when you need to put a smile on your own face, send it to someone who needs one themselves. You do not have to put anything in the card. And you actually can send it anonymously. I do not because have the fun of being an Immortal is to be the subject of an amusing conversation somewhere!

Stock Up!

Christmas is truly the season of the immortal. Gifts, cookies, special items we all remember from our childhood are caught up in the moments of Christmas. Tradition is mark of the immortal and they are so often evident all around the holiday. But we must be practical, and the after Xmas sales are our playground. Now is the time to purchase ribbon (red white and green are all colors that can used at other times of year) at 1/2 price, solid Xmas wrap can be used for other gifts and the ever present Christmas Cards. Buy an assorted box, we are going to use them later this year for something fun, and right now they are in the clearance bin!

Christmas baking items are also on sale now, the cupcake liners, the cute sprinkles, these items will all store through the year and most you can use for other holidays but are available now at reduced rates.

Knowing that you did not pay a fortune for these items, and the thrill of the deal, will make you more generous with them.

These are all the tools of the Immortal- creativity, generosity, traditions, and a supply of tools to do so!

Giving the Gift

It is not always easy to be immortal. Most of the people that the largest in our imaginations and memories are the infamous ones: The teacher that scolded, the bullies, those that ignored us, those that were just simply mean. To have a positive impact you have work harder, be more dynamic and more forceful. You have to outweigh the negative forces that are constantly hammering to the the ones we carry into our future.

But we all have them, those people in our lives that touched us so deeply they are forever immortal. The grandmother that loved you unconditionally, the aunt that adored you, that popular school mate that smiled at you for no reason, or the guy that stopped and just changed the tire for you -- all of them bring a smile to your face and build up the faith in others or in yourself.

We need to make an effort to become immortal to those who lives we are touching, because in that one moment we give them something that is forever priceless -- hope.

I hope this year to pass on the lessons I have learned, to pay it forward, to give you the gift of being immortal, by which my memory will keep me alive forever.