My Baby Will Not Sleep!!

I have this theory that babies think in emotions. Like a person from Germany thinks in German, and a color blind person does not dream with colors they cannot see, a baby has no comprehension of language or really clear images. They think in feelings - which they pull from Mommy or their caregivers. First they have only comfort and discomfort, then they move out to defining them-- hunger, calm, contentment, fear. So when I was asked by a crazed up for days mom, help me 'my baby will not sleep', the first thing I tell her is she has to relax. Have a glass of wine or crawl in a warm bath. But until you are calm and confident the baby Will not be calm and secure. If the baby feels your panic, your frustration, it just becomes frightened. Fifty years ago, new mothers had their own mother or their sisters or their aunts around them to help take the baby at night so the baby can feel the confidence of an experienced arm around them. The new mother could rest, relax and know that her child was safe. But now, young mothers are forced to do this all on their own, expecting to pull their wisdom and confidence from books. But that is not working. They need to rely on their experienced mothers around them, not the perfect ones, because they will never find one of those, but the ones with happy kids. One of my daughters in laws would call in the middle of the night, trapped far away alone with a crying baby and no help. she would lay him down, put the phone by his ear, and i would just talk in a calm vocal Valium voice. Or sing, until he could relax and she could catch her own breath. Because sometimes it is just that moment when they can both take a deep sigh that they learn the most about each other.